I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
