Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
