Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
