and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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