Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
