Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
