I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
