i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said her name was "party"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize