Got a toothbrush?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dignity is for republicans.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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