Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How does it feel to date your dad?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
