Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
