hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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