She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
