My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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