He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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