Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
