He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
