I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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