she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
