So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
