I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
