She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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