I skipped work to stalk him.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
