I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
