recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize