Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
