I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
