Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
