I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I deserve this hangover.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize