He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
