My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
