I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
