My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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