At least make sure they are 18
Why
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you inspire me to be a worse person
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize