For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
