Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
