dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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