If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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