I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We're too hungover to prance.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize