She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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