she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize