I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
