My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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