my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
