If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I believe in your delicious
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
