Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i've created a new STD.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
