I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
