I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
