Nicole vs. Life
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
