Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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