I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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