I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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