Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The maid of honor just puked.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
