i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
