ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't deserve a penis
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
