K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
