He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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