I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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