the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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