i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
