Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
