You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
